clears cobwebs and steps down gloriously from honeymoon

My dearest blog fam,
Calvary greetings to you in the name of our Lord. I trust that this meets you well. If so, doxology. Hehehehehehehehehehehe!! Wazaaaaaaaaaaaap my people??? Chai – it has been too long! Between the weekly newsletters to blog subscribers (if you are not subscribed, wetin you gain? Oya click here to subscribe now) and life in general, I am so sorry for abandoning my love – this blog! Gosh, I have missed you guys so much. I hope you all are doing GREAT, staying happy, healthy and productive, and generally living your best lives.

Soooo – this is the final part of the “Becoming Mrs J” series. In case you missed the previous posts, click here to catch up on part 1 and here for part 2. This final edition is the one where I share about our honeymoon – I know many months have passed since then, but I still feel like a new bride, so it counts, lol. A lot of people ask me how married life is, and to be honest, it feels like the honeymoon came back to Lagos with us. The Lord is good! And we respond: all the time!!!

KJ and PJ smiling in Miami
Honeymooners!!!

Ideally, your honeymoon should be fun and enjoyable for BOTH of you! To ensure that this is the case (and one person does not feel cheated), there are a couple of considerations that need to be made when thinking through when and how to honeymoon, the major ones being the timing, location(s) and of course your budget.

Timing
You can choose to head out for the honeymoon right after the wedding or postpone till a later time. Although my preference was to go immediately after, because delay is typically dangerous, there are several reasons why folks postpone for later. It could be that one of the partners has just started a new job and is not eligible for vacation, there is an important family event coming up that requires your presence or perhaps, the honeymoon cash money is not yet complete. My biggest advice for avoiding the last reason (a.k.a cash money isn’t complete) is this: Pay for your honeymoon FIRST!

Funding
The most important tip when it comes to ensuring you have a fabulous honeymoon, and not a ‘struggle moon’ as one of my friends calls it, is to pay for it FIRST. Pay for your honeymoon before you start paying for food and drinks and décor and all the other seemingly ‘important’ elements of your wedding ceremonies. Your honeymoon is one of the few things you will enjoy for yourselves because no matter how much you spend on food/drinks (and these are usually the most expensive cost items), you will barely eat/drink anything that is served at your wedding. The only thing I ate at my wedding reception was puff puff! Can you imagine? Between being so happy and trying to remain snatched (hehehehe), I did not have appetite for food! PJ, who was obviously not trying to be snatched, ate only amala while we waited in the car and that was it. So, you can imagine how hurt we would have been if we didn’t prioritize our honeymoon that we thoroughly and ‘solo-ly’ enjoyed from the beginning to the end!

Moving back to timing – PJ and I decided to go immediately after the wedding. We did not trust that some other random and important thing (work, family, etc) would not come up in December, lol. As I said before, delay is dangerous. It also helped that December tickets are usually expensive, so we humbly went in September. I guess if you get married in June, July ticket prices might try to break your heart, so the earlier you plan and pay, the better.

Location
On locations, there are many dimensions to selecting the dream destination. What passport do you have? Is your passport Nigerian green? Are you in the mood for visa applications or not? Are you BOTH happy to be in a cold place or  must it be sunshine all day long for you to be happy? Are you BOTH okay with looking at blue water for one whole week, or would you prefer to hear small noise that reminds you of Lagos? Do you want to stay in just one place or would like to explore multiple locations? It is extremely important to discuss these things and jointly agree on what you BOTH want. This is one holiday that you both have to enjoy and really cherish for years to come, so making it suitable for both parties is non-negotiable. You can’t start this lifetime adventure with one person feeling disgruntled. Amen?

One important deciding criterion was that we wanted a destination that would require the least visa hassle. None of us were in the mood for going to any consulate or VFS office. Once we  decided on the locations,  we outsourced the planning to our reliable friends at Naija Nomads who worked their magic while we just continued living our best lives, lol. You can choose to plan your honeymoon yourself if you have the time and capacity, but we chose not to because we were both working full-time, overseeing wedding planning and living life at the same time. It made both common and economic sense to outsource to experts for a token fee.If you know me well, you know I am the QUEEN of outsourcing, so I didn’t need too much convincing.

Our honeymoon was spread across 3 cities in 2 countries (we are an adventurous couple who like both water and city life). PJ was the one who got to choose the locations. We chose to go to cities we had never visited before in the United States of America and with a little help from Jay-Z, PJ also chose Turks & Caicos, a beautiful island country not too far from The Bahamas that is literally a type and shadow of paradise. To be honest, I had never heard of it until PJ suggested it, and he had never heard of it until our family friend Uncle Jay-Z rapped about it some 16/17 years back on the track “What More Can I Say”, lol. For the cool kids, Drake also gave a shout out to Grace Bay (a strip on one of the islands) on his ‘Gold Roses’ track with Rick Ross. Apparently, Drake visits the island about 6 times a year and that was the first place he visited when he first bought a private jet.  Let me quickly confess that all these fun facts are courtesy of PJ – you people know I am not that ‘woke’, hehehehe. Anyway, I digress – we did not go and greet Drake there, lol. The best part of T&C – we could get in using our U.S visas!!!!!

Sky views of Turks and Caicos
Turks and Caicos is so bae – even from the skies!!

I am convinced that PJ also wanted to make sure that we went to a new country, so I could finally hit Country 40 (despite the Jordanian disappointment earlier in the year). Turks & Caicos was the perfect country to ring in 40 from, and I had the best company with me as well! Thank you, PJ!!!!

KJ and PJ at Turks and Caicos airport
Touchdown Country 40!!!

Itinerary
We knew that being on an island for 10 days would be too much (I mean we like water but not for 10days, lol), and we also needed to break our travel into manageable chunks. We flew into Miami Beach via New York, spent a couple of days there before heading to Turks & Caicos for 5 days. We then decided to switch up the whole water/beach vibe and head to New Orleans (back to the US) for the culture (and Lagos-like noise) on our way back to Nigeria. Lots of travel (about 9 flights in total) but it was the perfect itinerary and it is definitely my best holiday so far. At the end of the day, a honeymoon is just an extra special and sexy  baecation, lol. The actual destinations don’t matter, as long as you both enjoy yourselves and have plenty alone time together. So, don’t break the bank o!

Stop 1: Miami- US of A
In Miami, we mainly ate and slept! I think we needed the sleep from all the wedding higi-haga. We just kept sampling nice restaurants and eating delicious food. After months and months of watching my waistline for the wedding dress, it was soooo good to be able to eat without watching nothing, hehehehehehehe. 

This was the last time I saw my abs on this trip, lol

We even had one super fancy dress-up dinner at Nobu – so fancy, I wore heels, lol. We had planned to even go clubbing but I could hardly stay awake past like 9pm because the jet lag was real!!!!

KJ and PJ eating Gelato in Miami
Mummy and Daddy Gelatooooo, lol
Post-lunch happiness at The Kardashians’ favorite restaurant in Miami
KJ abd PJ in a fancy restaurant in Miami
Dressed up for dinner but could hardly stay awake, lol

Stop 2: Turks and Caicos
In Turks and Caicos, the eating continued (nom nom nom) but we got off our behinds and did more activities. Our hotel was so luxurious, it was hard to actually leave the premises, so we would go out on some days and just stay in on some other days.

Gorgeous view from our hotel room

We went jet-skiing, water tubing, parasailing (let me not expose my darling husband here, hehehehe) and beach house window shopping along the beautiful waters of the island, lol.

KJ and PJ parasailing in Turks
This PJ’s smile from the sky is fake – uncle does not like sky games, lol
On the other hand, I was busy taking photos while PJ was on the jet-ski – I dont like water games too!
KJ and PJ on ATVS in Turks
Both of us don’t mind land games!

Naija Nomads hooked us up with an amazing guide who doubled as our driver and tour guide (hey Redz!!!) He gave us some good history lessons about the island and made sure we went to all the hot spots (you know those places where The Kardashians and Drake typically go, lol).

He also gave us the inside scoop on who is who on the island, including the one Nigerian on the island – Mr Emeka – who has a store! Igbo Kwenu! Everywhere we go!! He even took us to Prince’s (awon Daddy Purple Rain) purple house and it was ‘opelope anointing’ that we did not get thrown out for trespassing, lol.

This beach house is going on my vision board abeg!

I really enjoyed our time in Turks – their food had the most pepper of all the locations we visited, and it was just a BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL island! PJ has vowed to go back there, and me, I am a willing accomplice for that kain waka, lol. Leggo!!!

Stop 3: New Orleans- US of A
New Orleans was also food-centric, hehehe. Sorry guys, it was like the first time in a long time that I was not watching my weight. I just kept eating.

First meal in New Orleans and I was too happy!
PJ was trying to stop me but this sugar puff-puff/doughnut was irresistible
I found my family street in New Orleans, whooop!!!

We also got to visit a few historical spots. I was quite taken aback by how openly they advertised voodoo (juju, jazz) and I subconsciously kept pleading the blood of Jesus as often as I could. I didn’t even have the liver to enter any of these shops – abeg, I can’t shout! The one that blew my mind was the advert for voodoo disposal that was on a refuse/garbage truck – as in there is even a process to dispose of jazz. Oluwa o!

Nkan mbe – the foreign version!

Apart from all that jazz sha, the food was sweet. That said, I think the only thing that would take me back to NOLA would be the Essence Festival, but I am not even in a rush to attend that one except I am a speaker. Amen somebody? 😊

Glowing in NOLA!

Finally, we came back to Nigeria on Friday so we would have the weekend to settle in before heading back to work. We had gotten our decorator to do up the house while we were away, so we returned to a pleasant surprise in our home. As I said, the honeymoon is not over – we brought it back to Lagos with us and will take it wherever we are going.

As a reminder, your honeymoon is for BOTH of you, and it is important that you BOTH enjoy it and jointly make beautiful memories (and/or babies) regardless of when or where you decide to go for it 😊. And if you didn’t go on honeymoon, that’s okay too – as long as you both somehow find time to get away alone and just enjoy yourselves.

This is my ‘too much food’ face

That’s all for now, friends. Please share your honeymoon stories, tips, dreams, desires, etc, with me in the comments section. I would have asked for fantasies, but we are aiming to keep this blog PG 13, so another place and another day, lol.

Hugs,
KJ

55 Comments

  1. Dami February 4, 2020 at 12:17 pm

    love it and it’s actually great to put this into consideration…paying for the honeymoon first

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:05 pm

      Thank you Dami. It is such an important consideration to be made – seems small but it makes a huge difference!

      Reply
  2. Eronnwon February 4, 2020 at 12:19 pm

    Yaaay!

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:06 pm

      Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!! 🙂

      Reply
  3. iBambo February 4, 2020 at 1:18 pm

    Lool nice one! Welcome back here. I hope you have since seen your waistline o. I remember our honeymoon in Dubai was fun too (2012 chai i feel so old). I was just screaming on the desert safari ride. Told hubby we won’t come back on that kinda ride hahaha. Wild wadi water park was soooooooooo much fun too. Phew I wanna go back.

    Reply
    1. Dr. Chimnaza February 5, 2020 at 2:47 pm

      No married nor boifrien but I have planned/dreamed a waka waka honeymoon like this when hunku bae finds me .

      I laughed when I got to igbo kwenu… we are everywhere you go.

      Reply
      1. Tolulope February 6, 2020 at 8:38 am

        Awwww….love it. Definitely got so many tips here. Lol @ struggle moon. Definitely going to plan the honeymoon first.
        Thanks to your family friend uncle Jay-Z for rapping about Turks and Caicos too

        Reply
        1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:57 pm

          Lol.. Our family friend says’you are welcome’, hahahaha!!

          No struggle moons allowed o – honey all the way!!!!

          Reply
      2. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:58 pm

        He is coming shortly so keep the plans warm, okay???

        *hugs*

        Reply
    2. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:07 pm

      Oya go back noow!! Without the kids o – Oyinda will take care of them, lol.

      Great to be back with or without my waistline – this is a no-judgment zone, hehehehe. Thanks for accepting me the way I am!

      Reply
  4. Dorcas Ashaye February 4, 2020 at 1:42 pm

    Omg you are glowing 😍😍#honeymoonfever… Thank you for the enlightenment on what honeymoon entails and ways to go about it, i will definitely put all of the points listed into my plan when i meet my better half. Welcome back to Lagos

    Reply
    1. Diuto February 11, 2020 at 3:18 pm

      Thank you for the tips. Now I know I have to plan my honeymoon before my wedding.

      I already have list of countries I’d love to visit with bea 🥰🥰🥰.

      Reply
      1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:26 pm

        Nice!!!! And your list will get ticked off sooner rather than later in Jesus name!!!

        Reply
    2. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:07 pm

      Thank youuuuu!!! Hope the better half shows us soon so you wont have forgotten all these points by then. Amen?

      Reply
  5. Onize February 4, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    I enjoyed reading this soo much!
    Thank you for sharing your experience with us!

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:04 pm

      Thanks for stopping by the blog, Onize!! Glad you enjoyed the read 🙂

      Reply
  6. Olabimep February 4, 2020 at 5:19 pm

    This was so fun to read!! I divided it into tranches so I could take a break from work in bits to read it.

    My favourite part was the Drake and ‘Uncle Jay – Z part.

    Had my wedding a few months ago as well, and even though we did a resort in Nigeria, it was just super fun to get out of the hustle and bustle, ad just be with each other, have fun and pretty much dream together. I added so much weight too, cos I couldnt stop eating!!! (I had body goals prior to the wedding too, so it was breakthrough for me, from all my now fitted dresses too). I definitely brought back the honeymoon with me too. 🙂

    Thank you for sharing Kemzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Reply
    1. Olabimpe February 4, 2020 at 5:20 pm

      The name is Olabimpe (Spelled it wrongly the first time)

      Reply
    2. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:04 pm

      Hahahaha! She said breakthrough!! It does feel super liberating to eat without watching nothing. But those fitted dresses are not loyal – they will remind you of your sins eventually, lol.

      Glad to hear your honeymoon came back with you! Praying for everlasting bliss in Jesus name.

      I see you, hip hop heads! Drake and Jay-Z fans 🙂

      Reply
  7. OTDamilola February 4, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    I smiled all through until I got to the blood of Jesus for everywhere there was voodoo and jazz. Yes o. Very essential.

    Beautiful. Beautiful. The honeymoon won’t ever stop.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:02 pm

      Ameeen to a never-ending honeymoon! Amen!!

      Ah Sister Damilola – you did not smile at the blood of Jesus? Lol – please smile o!! Hehehehehe

      Reply
  8. Olajumoke Olaiya February 5, 2020 at 4:40 am

    I’ve learnt so much and will be mindful of these lessons when it’s time. Thanks for sharing this wisdom.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:00 pm

      Jumoke!! You are welcome! The time is not so far out anymore – Amen?

      Reply
  9. Oyinkansola February 5, 2020 at 11:11 am

    Beautiful! Glad you both had an amazing time. We definitely see the glow.

    Thank you for sharing this with us.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 10:00 pm

      You are most welcome 🙂

      Reply
  10. Dooshima February 5, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    Great read as always Kemi…lol at the last time you saw your abs!!Loved the concept of getting 3 different mini holidays/cities in one…our 10th anniversary is coming up ( cannot even belive that!)..and this pick and mix is definitely the way to go!

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:59 pm

      10 already!! Ahhh you are our senior’s senior in this game o!

      10 years is definitely a GREAT reason (not excuse) to celebrate and go on another honeymoon! I am fully in support! Let me know if you need some tips, okay?

      Reply
  11. Kofoworola February 5, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    I’ve run out of oooooosss and awwwwwws.

    Thank you for sharing. I am definitely leaving with the “pay for your honeymoon first” lesson.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:58 pm

      Awwwwwwww, lol. I still have enough to share 🙂

      Glad you found it both enjoyable and useful!

      Reply
  12. Isabella February 6, 2020 at 1:42 pm

    AWWWW!!!! Couldn’t stop reading till the end. I’m sure you had sooo much fun, the glow is everything. Thanks for the tips, very helpful.
    With just about 2 months to my wedding, I definitely plan to have fun as well.

    Reply
  13. Tosin February 11, 2020 at 10:21 am

    I enjoyed reading this. We had our honeymoon a year after our wedding in Zanzibar and it was beautiful. Looking for guides like this for planning our 5th year Wedding Anniversary in October – l love the mix of activities at the different locations and would give everything for a thorough 5th year Anniversary getaway so more ideas are welcome. And Sis, that pay for your honeymoon first is the best advice ever. We saved up for our honeymoon and eventually had to use up most of it for some wedding shenanigans *unwise* You are definitely glowing, we missed you and don’t worry about the waistline, we really don’t expect to see it after all the fun you and PJ had *hahahahaha* Welcome back Sis.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:46 pm

      Hahahaha! She said she does not expect to see the waistline – chai!! I am not sure who is worse – you or my mother, lol.

      You went a whole year after?? I might have even forgotten about it then. Glad you still went ahead and enjoyed it. And yasss to the 5th year celebration too. Maybe I should adopt that – honeymoon encore on milestone years – 5, 7 (perfection), 10, 13 (the love is a teenager), 16 (sweet sixteen), 18 (the love is now legal and can drive/vote, lol), 21 (the love is now legal everywhere in the world), 25 (silver), 30, etc, hehehehe.

      October is a perfect month to travel – shoulder season between summer madness and winter rush, weather is still decent, places are not as crowded, etc. Send me an email and I can give some tips and if it passes my power, I refer you to my seniors!

      It’s great to be back!! Thanks for swinging by.

      hugs

      Reply
  14. Chiny February 11, 2020 at 10:23 am

    Kems!!!

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:30 pm

      ENGEL!!!!

      Reply
  15. Yewande February 11, 2020 at 10:56 am

    Kemi!!! Beautiful story telling as always, I didn’t want it to end. Wish you marital bliss.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:30 pm

      Awww! thanks Yewande! Thank you so much and Amen to marital bliss.

      Reply
  16. The Reading Mom February 11, 2020 at 11:00 am

    Lovely post, as usual. Glad to read from you again. Hope you can see your abs now 🤣 I think I need a 2nd honeymoon (more like 4th🤣🤣🤣)

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      Thanks dear! Please let us not talk about those abs for now, hehehe.

      You deserve as many honeymoons as you want o! Abeg, enjoy your life!

      Reply
  17. Shams February 11, 2020 at 12:38 pm

    Mama Kemz!!! You are glowing ooooo. I totally enjoyed this read. Going to plan my honeymoon first like you said. Wishing you marital bliss

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:28 pm

      Amen to marital bliss! Thank you dearie!

      The sun in the abroad enhances glow, lol. I think all the skin prep leading up to the wedding also helped – let me just go back to my routine then so the glow can be everlasting. Glad you enjoyed the read.

      hugs!

      Reply
  18. Success Nwosu February 11, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    Awwww such a great read! Totally enjoyed reading this.. like I felt you were gisting me .. I could literally hear your voice in my head.

    So much to take away. I never took into consideration any of the things you mentioned.. we didn’t even plan our honeymoon. In my head, we were not going for honeymoon but hubby pulled a cool move on me. But if we had these tips, it would have helped.

    As I read this, I just said aloud in my head “we are going for another honeymoon”. And as soon as I stand up from this toilet seat, I am going straight to tell hubby this👆.

    Plus how do people think to send a decorator ahead before they get home from their honeymoon? Success which world are you from oh? Anyways, thank God we have people like Kemi to suggests these things..

    Thank you Kemi and PJ… Have a great sail on this journey.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:21 pm

      Hahahahaha!!! You know that when you come back from this second honeymoon you are planning, you are coming back with twins, lol.

      Yaay to team reading on the throne, lol. 5 mins visit becomes 50mins, lol. I am trying to do better sha.

      Amen to a great sail! Thanks Success!

      Reply
  19. Ibk February 11, 2020 at 9:00 pm

    I got that tip. Surely planning my honeymoon first, let me and mine enjoy our self too

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:19 pm

      It is very necessary!! Enjoy!!!

      Reply
  20. Bis Bis February 11, 2020 at 9:44 pm

    Whattttt…..I def didn’t know about the voodoo history in New Orleans!
    And YES to speaking at Essence!
    This honeymoon itinerary was premium enjoyment o, love to see ittt!

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:17 pm

      The only ZEN Master I know!!!!! Whaaaat??? Congrats mama!!!

      Well, there is voodoo there o, na so we see am. And when I am going to Essence, you will come with me- I will tell everyone my friend is a ZEN Master, lol.

      Reply
  21. Dee February 12, 2020 at 2:09 am

    Lovely, lovely read. I enjoyed every bit of this. Eye opener: Pay for your honeymoon first!
    I love the way you spice up your posts with pictures too. Voodoo in New Orleans? Na wa o. It’s amazing what you can see when you explore the world.

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      Thank you Dayo 🙂 Glad you liked the pictures – going to dig them up after mooonths was a labor of love but I am glad it payed off 🙂

      It is really amazing what we see when we explore the world. You realize your problems are not peculiar to you o – we are more alike than we are different!

      Reply
  22. Cynthia February 12, 2020 at 11:19 am

    Soooo good to read from you again.
    Lovely pictures too 😍 😍 😍

    Hubbs and I haven’t gone on a honeymoon.
    We hope to tho. Sometime soon. Thanks for sharing your experiences and tips Mrs. J

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:11 pm

      Aww, thank you!! I hope you both get to go away sometime. Even a weekend getaway from the regular hustle/bustle of life qualifies as a honeymoon, so don’t delay for too long.

      Hugs to you and your hubbs!

      Reply
  23. CB February 12, 2020 at 6:13 pm

    Thank you for being so original I will be like you when I grow up 😁

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:09 pm

      Hopefully, you are even better!!!

      *hugs*

      Reply
  24. Aramide February 14, 2020 at 11:16 am

    Thanks for sharing Kemi.

    of all the tips, I love the emphasis on “Both of you”. Takes intentionality but thanks for reinforcing it again and again and again.

    Welcome Back 🙂

    Reply
    1. Kemi O - Site Author February 16, 2020 at 9:08 pm

      Thanks boo!! It is great to be back here!

      And YES to intentionality – absolutely nothing (except weeds growing) happens by chance 🙂

      Reply

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