Life lately: Losing a loved one, New York, London and more

*long post alert*

Hi guys! Thanks for the overwhelming response to my last post – WOW! I looked at the number of views and I was just humbled. Thank you for making vulnerability easier and for sharing your own stories of growth in the comments section. Another BIG FAT THANK YOU for all the birthday wishes, prayers, calls and messages. God bless you.

*long emotional post alert*

Hmm, on to this post. I won’t lie, I am really struggling to put my thoughts together. I had been so excited to share about my trip to New York (and to the U.K right after) as I mentioned in my last post. However, while on this trip, I got some super painful news about the passing away of my beloved cousin/big sister who I actually saw on this trip and that definitely changed everything.

Relocated too soon!

You know, before this time, I had never lost a very close relative/friend/loved one (Father Lord, I thank You again for the gift of life for me and all my loved ones). Apart from my grandparents, I have never really lost anyone close to me, so this one hit HARD. I think what made it even harder was that I had seen her just 9 days before she passed on. In fact, her last Instagram post was the picture we took where she was thanking me for surprising her and making her year.

As you can see from the picture, she was in perfect health, all smiles and PERFECT! So imagine my shock when I got that WhatsApp call while at a train station in London. I did not know when I crumbled to the floor and wept. I just sat there on the floor and cried and cried and cried and cried until my chest could not take it anymore.

After sitting on the floor for a while and getting only a few weird stares (London people know how to mind their business, lol), my bum started aching and I realized I needed to go home. By this time, I was aware enough to know that I had lost my sense of coordination and could not trust that I would remember the correct train stop, so I just gave myself some brain as we say in Nigerian parlance, temporarily forgot about the British Pound to Nigerian Naira exchange rate and ordered an Uber. And for the rest of the trip, I kept taking Uber rides because I was just drained and did not have the energy for London’s ‘change train line thrice, switch buses twice and walk for 10minutes’ way of life just to get to one destination.

London waka-waka

I had some grand plans for the rest of the trip, but I was too broken to execute. I was mentally planning a birthday photoshoot, some shopping for the shoot, some exotic dinner, visit a few people, see a play at the West End, blah blah blah but everything (except food) just seemed bland and bleh. I was not in the mood for anything – I just wanted to lie in bed, eat and cry all day.

But God gave strength!  

Once I got back to Nigeria, I went straight into admin mode and started organizing stuff. I wrote the biography, collated tributes, attended to guests at the house, formed as much activity as possible, and kind of put off the reality of it all until the day of the burial. And then I WEPT again.

But God gave even more strength!! 

My cousin ‘Ofe’ (our pet name for Ifeoluwa Onasile-Odusanya) lived a rich, full and victorious 38 years. We shared a room for about 3 years before she relocated to the U.S. to be with her lover-husband (I usually referred to him as Uncle Honey). I was even her maid of honor at her wedding. We had so many dance parties in our room and when we started laughing about something, it was a riot! She was so full of life! Ofe was also the one who forced me to start wearing more color (I cannot explain my love for black and Mama Kemi does not understand it either) – after harassing me endlessly, she started buying me colored brooches just to help my matter, lol.

Kisses always! (See the black?)
Ofe = Laughter and Color!

And because I know Ofe would have wanted me to do this, I will share some of the lessons I have learnt over the past couple of weeks, from my trip and the time since she relocated to heaven.

+ Giving is the joy of life: As I collated Ofe’s tributes (all 50+ of them), I fell in love with her all over again. The testimonies were the same – she was a giver, she was selfless, she was so generous and always went out of her way to give and give and give. She gave of her time, her love, her warmth, gifts, card, and so much more. She gave to family, friends and colleagues. She gave to the young and the old. She was a GIVER! Everyone in the house had something she had given to them – earrings, a bag, shoes, etc. I still have brooches, some shoes and a tunic she got from a medical trip to India. Like who goes to the hospital and buys something for you on their way back? It made me ask myself, ‘Oluwakemi, how much of a giver are you?’  Do we only give to people who give us back in return?
How many lives are we really touching beyond our immediate family? How many people will thank God for your existence?

Ofe the blushing bride

+ Don’t pass up on any opportunity to show/tell people you love them. My trip to see Ofe in Maryland was quite random and unplanned, but I told myself I could not possibly be 90 minutes away in D.C and not see her. The morning I went to see her, I got only 3 hours of sleep (I was actually finishing the last blogpost – putting pictures, etc), woke up  super early to drive to Maryland to hug her and get back to D.C in time to get my 1230 train back to New York. Sounds exhausting, right? It felt exhausting on that day but I definitely would not have it any other way now! Can you imagine how painful it would have been to know I was so close but too lazy to be the last relative from Nigeria that saw her? I would have wept blood! I probably would not have forgiven myself for a long time.

I literally had to drag her out of church (thankfully, she was not ministering in the choir that morning) to catch up quickly, take photos in the car park, smother her with kisses, and promise that I would be back to visit her properly. She was soooooo surprised and just kept shouting, ‘Kemi, you this child and all your waka waka. Is this you I am seeing just like that?’ Well, this is one waka waka I am most grateful for!

Our last hug and kiss on this side of eternity

Sometimes it will not be convenient, but do all you can, whenever you can, to let your loved ones know just how much you love them. Seize the moment to show love, or as the fancier ones amongst us say, “Carpe Diem, no matter how short. The 15mins I spent with Ofe in the parking lot that Sunday morning are priceless.

Shout-out to my cousin Yomz who showed up at the train station to just see me for 10mins!

+ At the end of the day, everyone in Nigeria is your family friend a.k.a we are all 1-2 degrees of separation apart. I cannot count the number of my friends/acquaintances that DM’d me after I put up Ofe’s picture on IG & Whatsapp, telling me they knew her. From the various churches she attended, her secondary school, her university, some choir somewhere, etc.

Always kiss/pout ready

I even went to see a friend of mine and his family before heading back to Nigeria and in the middle of consoling me, he went to IG to see the picture and screamed, ‘Oh my goodness, Ife is my sister from church in Abuja!’ Apparently, they were in the same department back then and were quite close. I’m like ‘UHN!!”. Some folks in my fitness group also knew her from church in Maryland.  And the testimonies about her are all consistently the same!

I have told you before, the world is shrinking! Someone cannot afford to be badly behaved in this world o!

Sisters forever!

+ Don’t take yourself too seriously, find ways to make yourself laugh. On this trip, there were a few moments where I cracked myself up big time!

Trying to shoot another music video for Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ Empire State of Mind at the top of the Empire State Building was hilarious! My music video director (Jennifer of Life) was playing the song via her airpods and somehow both of us did not realize that the sound was not going to miraculously be heard in the video. Imagine how silly I looked just dancing to no music, lol.

The super-talented Sister Jennifer of the music video fame, lol

 

Music video or not, the views from the top of the Empire State Building were quite lovely.

Welcome, let me show you around
Views of the concrete jungle Aunty Alicia sang about – New York
A view and a girl 🙂

 

The worst has to be the wedding guest photo-shoot I did in Bradford. Hahahahahaha. I was attending the wedding ceremony of my study partner and buddy from business school, Yoel (aka Yo-Yo) in this quaint little town in the U.K; somewhere 3 hours away from London by train.

Beautiful Bradford
Breathtakingly-green Bradford

The ceremony was scheduled to start at 3pm and given that we were far from the city, there was not much to do. After working out, styling my hair and generally faffing around, I still had more than enough spare time before the ceremony started. So what did I do? I did a photoshoot similar to what they do for brides, lol. As I was taking the photos, I was laughing and shaking my head wondering how I even thought to do such a thing. Lol. Don’t judge me guys, blame it on boredom, lol.

The only thing missing is a bouquet, hahahaha (there is even a ring there!)

 

For the next shoot, the dress will be white – I promise!
Final look – wedding guest of life!
Oh – here comes the groom, Mr Yo-Yo
Study group (or half of it) reunited
The full INSEAD crew with the lovely couple

I also had a lot of rib-cracking moments while reading Trevor Noah’s ‘Born a Crime’ during this trip. Trevor Noah is not well, lol. I would be on the train and be giggling to myself. Sometimes, I would literally laugh out loud. Given that I had just spent a few months working in South Africa, it was such an enlightening read and helped me understand the social construct of the country a little more. I absolutely enjoyed reading it and it made me smile and laugh a lot.

+ Time with people, not things, create the best memories – On this trip, it was less about being a tourist and more about being a friend (going to places that have a high concentration of Nigerians does this to me, lol). I spent most of my time reconnecting and catching up with some of my old friends and also meting up with some of my new online friends. I hardly had any meals alone – catch-ups were structured around mealtimes (breakfast, pre-lunch, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, post-dinner drinks, etc) and I absolutely enjoyed spending time with these lovely people. I am not sure when next I will see these folks in person, but until then, technology (WhatsApp, IG and Facetime) will serve its useful purposes.  Apologies to anyone (also known as Ms Shalom) I dragged on my walking/shopping runs – God bless you for your patience with me, lol.

My people!!!!All smiles and love 🙂
With the lovely (and very patient) Shalom
Avec ma chere Yinkus et D-baby
With my girl/blogger-crush, Kachi of www.kacheetee.com (see how star-struck I was!)
The D.C crew!
The babies were not left out – babies love Aunty Kemi!

 

+ Give kindness (and reply your DMs, lol), it will come back to you.  Back in March, a beautiful young lady called Abi slid into my DM (sorry folks, not all DM sliders are boys, lol) to get some information about Tanzania as she had an upcoming work trip. I responded happily and even offered to give her my Tanzania tour guide’s contact. It cost me nothing but time, but I did not mind at all. She had a great time in Zanzibar and everyone was happy.

Fast forward to when I was going to New York, I completely forgot that Abi lived there. However when I posted a pic from NY, she messaged me again and offered to hang with me and show me around. I took her up on the offer and planned to spend my last day in NY with her. This last day coincided with the day my beloved bank’s systems decided to crash. Oh boy, see me sweating at the check-out counter of the store when I realized my cards (Naira and USD denominated) were not working. Internet/mobile banking was not working either. I was royally stuck!

Guess who bailed me out and gave me cash to run my last minute errands (plus taxi fare to the airport)? Abi!!! I also had a fabulous time hanging with her – she was my personal hotspot, tour guide, navigator and photographer for the day. Thanks, Abi! God bless you babes.

I am sure with this one story of mine, I have been able to convince you that your seemingly tiny seeds of kindness will pay off sometime. It might not even be for you directly but trust me, the good Lord does not forget.

Bonus tip: When going abroad, please go with different bank cards (and some cash) – only Jesus is 100% dependable in this life!

Say Hello to Angel Abi 🙂

+ When in Rome, dress like the Romans. When in New York, wear face caps. When in London, wear trench coats, lol. I am not sure how I came up with this but I know that the ‘hip-hop hurray’ spirit came upon me when I was in New York and I wore a face cap every day when I was there.

Don’t ask me why I am wearing an LA cap in NY!

Once I got to the U.K, wearing a face cap just did not feel right. Even wearing a bomber jacket felt weird, and I switched to a trench coat, lol. Don’t ask me why, I am still trying to figure it out. If you have any deep explanations, please share with me in the comments section.

Trying to look like a proper-ish London lady
Who knew these shoes could be so versatile!

+ The Fam in ‘FitFam’ can mean something more. On the trip, I also had the good fortune of meeting up with some of the lovely ladies I had connected with on the fitness group I belong to (http://www.aprillaugh.co.uk/). Sometimes it’s hard to believe I had only met this people on WhatsApp as they have grown to be such solid friends and family in some instances. It was an absolute delight to meet them in person and to give them real physical hugs! It felt like pen-pals meeting for the first time – so exciting!

With Coach Lola and Baby Coach Bryan
With my personal people – the Kayodes! From WhatsApp to Dagenham 🙂
Started from WhatsApp, now we’re in NY!

By the way, it has been one year since I embarked on my fitness/lifestyle change journey and it’s been absolutely rewarding. I am stronger, more confident and definitely healthier. My clothes fit better and I sleep better now. I no longer spend money on Spanx or have terrible breakouts on my face (I know my dermatologist misses me, lol).

Puff-puff, dodo and chocolate cake are still problems in my life but I am much more controlled about how much of them I eat now. It’s a journey and I remain committed to it.

Before (October 2016)  meets After (April 2017)!
October 2016 vs. Jan 2017
Same dress, same red lipstick, different fit!
Caught in the act! Puff-puff is bae, sorry, a real problem!

+ We all deal with grief very differently. While some of my cousins lost their appetites and could not eat, I went on an eating-spree o! *covers face* Gosh! I ATE! For national peace and security (especially after I have just written about fitfam), I will not post pictures or list out all the things I ate. Let’s just say I ate a LOT of things. Period! I had to do a 3-day detox to help me get out of my eating spree and I think it worked. Pheew! Back on track now – Amen!

During the burial, some of us cried, some of us did not. That did not mean the criers loved Ofe more than the non-criers. Her niece hung up the phone on anyone who told her to be strong or asked her to stop crying. Crying is part of the healing process for some of us, and it is okay to allow us to cry. It is not the time for motivational quotes, thank you. What is most important is we are there for each other through tough periods.

Boo-Boo 🙂

That said, I discovered that some people may decide to give you space, not because they don’t love you or want to be there for you, but really because that is how they deal with their own grief and so they automatically expect that it is the same for you. I think a simple ‘how do you want me to support you through this?’ conversation can help all the parties involved live happily ever after. 🙂

I earnestly pray that we don’t experience loss earlier than we ought to, but knowing that it has happened for some of us and will happen eventually to others, I also pray for God’s strength, grace and comfort for everyone who is grieving the loss/relocation of a loved one.

At the 9/11 World Trade Centre memorial

To end this post, here is a particular Scripture that I have held on to during this period. 

Ife Oluwa kii shi (The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases)

God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,

His merciful love couldn’t have dried up.

They are created new every morning.

 The Lord can always be trusted to show mercy each and every morning.

How great and beyond measure is Your Faithfulness!

 Deep in my heart I say,

“The Lord is all I need, I can depend on Him.

I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over)

He’s all I’ve got left.”

Lamentations 3:22-24 (MSG, AMP, CEV)

Have you ever lost a loved one? How did you cope? How do you cope? How do you deal? What Scriptures do you turn to for strength? Please share with us!

Tight bear hugs,

Kemi

p.s  Ofe’s relocation to heaven put me in a very sober reflective mood for my 30th birthday so there was no ginger for party or turn-up of any sort. Maybe I will celebrate the first anniversary of my 30th birthday, just maybe.

That said, I am still accepting gifts o!! My home and office are open all year round to receive gifts, lol.

Published by

Kemi O

Explorer. Happy Woman.

45 thoughts on “Life lately: Losing a loved one, New York, London and more”

  1. Kemi!!! This was a refreshing read. Well done👍🏾 I know Ofe is and would continue to be proud of you.
    Sparking of losses, I’v had a few. The most recent one being March 2016 and it was definitely the one that cut deepest. A couple of days ago while in the shower, I thought about the moment I got the news and how my life literarily changed. But I am consoled with the thought that he didn’t suffer before he passed (it was an accident that could have left him in a vegetative state). Prayers up to all our loved ones who have “relocated” 🙏🏾🙏🏾

    Btw, all this your waka dugbe brought you to DC/Maryland after I moved abi?? You owe me a visit oo, ehen (pulling my ear) Lol!

    1. Fally mama, I hear you loud and clear! Thank you for your kind words and for sharing. I am glad that you are consoled and comforted. God will continue to comfort and strengthen your heart dear.

      I join you in the prayers up for all our relocated loved ones and I pray we live our lives in obedience to God and get to see them in heaven eventually.

      Amen!

      Thanks for stopping by – love to the girls and Oga T

  2. Aww Kemi! It was lovely to read this post. I could literally feel the love you had for your cousin. I remember when i lost my immediate elder sister 16 years ago (seems so long ago now that im writing it) I cant even say what the emotions that ran through me were. She was 7-8 years older than me and i was just 15. Jesus! I grew up so fast!!! So much was expected from me as she passed on during childbirth and left a son behind. Thank God for the love and emotional support from family. Baby boy is an undergraduate now.

    Then 3 years ago, i lost my male cousin. He had an accident/brain injury and my choleric self took over immediately. I made all the emergency calls, was available for updates with the doctors… He was with us for 3 weeks after the accident and we thought the worst was over before he suddenly passed on. He left behind a son also. It felt like the wound was being peeled open again *crying*.

    Then the devil came again 2 years ago and my mum had a close shave. This time we did everything humanly possible within our power backed with prayers and told the devil Not This Time! Thank God she made it through and was present to witness my professional qualification last year and wedding this year *dancing* and my babies next year this I pray.

    In the end, in all things, we remain victorious.

    #TestifyingForThePast # TestifyingInAdvance

    1. Enitan!!! Wow!

      First and foremost, thank you so much for commenting and sharing some openly. I actually teared up while reading your testimony. Yup, this is not a comment, it is a testimony.

      Congratulations on Mum’s deliverance! And hearty congratulations on all the wonderful milestones God preserved her to see and the upcoming ones too. I am excited about your upcoming twins (oya say Amen!) and I pray for God’s preservation upon you and your entire household.

      Yes to victory in all things! We are truly truly victorious in all things. This is the only way to live, really.

      Thanks again for sharing your testimony Eny! Grrreat to read from you!

  3. Kemi!!! The way you write is so inspiring and captivating.

    I am one of those who didn’t know what to say about the loss of your cousin, I didn’t even know she was your cousin. I knew it would have hurt so much because of the way you celebrated your 30th (a very calm one..lol).

    So sorry about your loss and indeed everyone’s loss (I feel like I know her, she has so many Lautech friends). May the Lord strengthen the family and loved ones she left behind. We rebuke untimely death in Jesus name, Amen.

    All the lessons in this post are very crucial. Kindness, care, love are so cheap (does not really cost all the time), we must learn to give them often to our friends and family when we can; especially when their thought crosses our mind.

    You look so fit and fab! You need to induct me into your fitness club oo…😀😀. It’s time to disturb you on Whatsapp.

    1. Thanks sis. I LOL’d at your ‘very calm birthday celebration’ comment. Hahahahaha! I am calm girl,naa 🙂

      Ofe is special – she has so many fans all over the place!

      Amen to strength and to no more untimely death/early relocation.

      Re being fit and fab, thank you jare! I am just trying to do this temple of God good o. You know where to find me, and I will promptly redirect you to the experts, lol. Na the work wey dem they do be that 🙂

  4. You should have put a *tissue alert* too! I just kept sniffing at the office.
    I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m so happy she really lived, for the time she was here on earth.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. Enjoy your 30th.

    PS: My favourite colour is black as well, and I do not like travelling neither am I adventurous, but you’ve challenged me positively with all these your trips, hence I will take a trip soon (outside of compulsory work trips), and share postcards with you on instagram too!

    Love
    -Bimpe

    1. Hey Bimpe, thanks a lot dear. Sorry for omitting the tissue alert o, no vex 🙂

      I cannot wait for your postcards o – make it happen and please DO NOT FORGET to share with me.

      Hugs,
      Kemi

  5. Thank you for sharing this, really touching and I learnt a lot. I lost my younger brother 2 years ago, he was killed. That broke me cause he was only 23years, an awesome investment banker and was a 2 time best graduating student. Let’s just say it still affects me deeply despite writing a book about it. The part that hurt most was I never cried.
    Somethings are just tough mehn, but the joy of the Lord is our strength.
    Lots of hugs

    1. Oh my! Loads of hugs right back. I am so sorry about your baby brother, I pray that God continues to comfort you.

      What is the name of your book? I would love to read it.

      And it’s okay if you did not cry, not all of us are criers apparently.

      Hugs again,
      Kemi

  6. I should have known better than reading this post at my desk… bawled my eyes out

    Thankful for the live your cousin lived, and I am definitely sticking with relocating to heaven from now.

    Loss is painful, Unexpected loss is devastating,
    My Mum relocated to heaven Jan 18th this year. and it’s been the most difficult thing to come to terms with and accept that it really happened. Feels like a dream but the emptiness I feel never fails to remind me that it’s real. Giving truly is the joy of life and I’ve learnt that from My Mum’s life. I read Youversion devotionals on dealing with grief and when I meet people who tell me about how she supported them at some point or the other, it warms my heart.

    Welcome to your 30’s Sis. I pray you keep flourishing and your light keeps shining!
    P.S I love London style and now I know surely I need to get back on fitfam asap.
    Hi @KacheeTee 🙂 🙂
    Xx

    1. A Bis-Bis, pele dear.

      I know how deep Mum’s relocation hurt but I am so proud of how much stronger you have become through this process. God is definitely with you through this. *hugs*

      Amen to the prayers, thanks my darling.

      p.s – Fitfam is waiting for you too, lol.

  7. Why am i crying, why the tears i ask myself? You started with Angel Ifeoluwa ( who is just same age as i am now before she passed) how she lived , then the lessons , then the typical you.

    Life is sure a gift. I pray to leave so empty and fulfill my purpose.

    Thank Aunty K for letting us into your life once again.

    Loads of love

    1. I know right, all of a sudden, everybody around me is a 1979 baby. It is well!

      Amen to leaving here empty and fulfilling purpose. Mama Jewel, I know you are on the right track.

      Glad to let you into this life of mine. Hopefully, all the emotional posts can stop now, lol.

      xoxo

  8. The scripture that helped me during my grieving period was Romans 8:35-38 – “What can separate us from from the love of God?….And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life…”. Cece Winnas song ‘Comforter’ also helped me.

    May God comfort you and your family. She will always remain in your hearts forever. I still think about my dad once in a while and I either smile or cry after 11 years. Yes it does get easier…gradually. You continue to stay strong dear *BEAR HUG*

  9. I lost my dad during my final year in CU. We were about doing our 1st semester exams and my dad was actually helping me with my final year project. My dad was my paddy. He called me ‘Mummy’. He was very close to his mum..my grandma. She died before I was born. So you know how ‘Yetunde’ in Yoruba means ‘Mother has returned’, ‘Nnennaya’ is the Igbo version 😊

    The scripture that helped me during my grieving period was Romans 8:35-38 – “What can separate us from from the love of God?….And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life…”. Cece Winnas song ‘Comforter’ also helped me.

    May God comfort you and your family. She will always remain in your hearts forever. I still think about my dad once in a while and I either smile or cry after 11 years. Yes it does get easier…gradually. You continue to stay strong dear *BEAR HUG*

    1. An amazing worthy read Kemi.

      I lost my Grandma in February this year and that was when it dawned on me that she never met hubby. That was some painful stuff there. And then on the other hand, I had to permit myself to pen my thoughts about her the way I remembered her from my childhood because I wanted to capture and frame her exactly as I knew her..not through anybody’s eyes but mine and it hit me that she was the one I got my creative genes from. She was not just teaching me but she was pouring into my destiny and blessing me with skill and versatility and multi-passion. She was the onky one who understood and supported my itchy hands and I may not have bee in design today if not for her. Its amazing what we can find out when we set time aside to remember loved ones. She was 86 when she died but it did not hurt less

      Ofe is with the Lord now. Her soul rests. And its my prayer that the Lord comforts you my love and your family on every side.

      @Nnenaya…Hugs dear!!!

      *PS thanks for the dose of fun amidst sobriety.💕

      1. Adrenaline mi,

        Amen to the prayers for comfort. Amen!

        Sorry about Grandma and sorry that she did not get to meet our General Oga *hugs*

        Isn’t it interesting how we get to meet people all over again when we decide to write about them/our memories of them? Thank you for encouraging me to actually write about Ofe – I definitely got inspired all over again.

        Maybe we should take the time to write about our loved ones before they relocate to heaven. That way, we get to cherish, appreciate and celebrate them more while they are still with us. Yes?

        Glad you still had fun in this post 🙂

        Thanks for always being there!

        kizzes!

    2. OluwaNene,

      That Romans 8:35-38 Scripture was read during Ofe’s funeral/memorial – it sure is a strength-giver in these times.

      My current song is Kristene DiMarco’s ‘IT IS WELL’ but I will definitely add Cece’s Comforter to the playlist. Thank you so much for sharing.

      I pray that all the memories of your Dad going forward will be with joy! And I pray that God preserves your Mum for a looooong time and that your joy will continually be full in Jesus name.

      Amen!

  10. Kemi hun,

    so sorry for your loss. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, I can only empathize, but I got a real good feel of what Ofe meant to you.

    Thankfully, there are so many awesome things to remember about her & learn from her.
    Truly we should value every moment and seize the opportunity to tell those we care about how much we love them.

    Be strong dearie.

    P. S: receive grace to be free from puffpuff et Al…
    *🐻 🤗

    1. Mama Tiara! Thanks a lot for your comment, and I hope we continue to remember to value every moment we get with our loved ones.

      Trust you are doing well, and Princess T is growing beautifully!

      I receive that puff-puff freedom grace o! Amen! 🙂

  11. This was a very emotional read. May God comfort you, Kemi. The joy we have is that very soon, we will all meet with our loved ones (when Christ comes) to part no more. The lessons you brought out of the experiences are definitely one to live by!

  12. Kemsco,
    Words fail me. You know why.. Remain consoled that Ofe is resting in the bosom of the Lord and you will meet again by God’s grace. London people ehn, no love whatsoever.. If na Naija someone would have definitely asked you what’s wrong while another person is recording your video for instablog Naija.

    I haven’t lost anyone really really close to me save for my besties mum in February, she was killed and that was one of the worst days of this year for me, the way she passed on. She was like a mum considering I stay with the bestie’s family during the week. It was a real hard time, till now my bestie misses her mum silly even when they didn’t have the best of relationships, I was always a middleman so I kinda understood how it felt to lose a mother.
    The good thing is that Ofe touched so many lives in a great way and hopefully we pray that such reports are given about us if the Lord tarries and he calls us home before he comes.

    My comment has become an epistle, I wanted to yell you know Ope Aladekomo, and then I just hit my head of course Ipetu/mck connect.

    Again, your story telling skills are becoming better and better, is it time to start thinking of writing a book?? Alright off to study. .. Rip Ofe ..

    1. You said Kemsco, hahahahaha! This girl!

      Lol @ Lagos people recording me for instablog Nija – sad but true.

      I remember when you shared about your bestie’s mum and how painful that whole experience was. I am so so sorry all over again and I pray for God’s continued comfort for you and your bestie’s family.

      Chief Editor, please pass this exam today and let’s start thinking about this book 🙂 thank you for all the back-end eagle-eye support you always give to me. I appreciate you deeply!

      xoxo,
      Kemsco (hahahahhahaha)

  13. Hi Kemi,

    You write so beautifully, may God bless you and may Ofe’s soul rest in peace. I have lost a couple of people dear to me and the scripture that helps me Isaiah 57:1 (it might help). Congrats on your 30th. Keep inspiring us, your story has taught me to do better daily so has to be remembered for something.
    God bless you.

    1. Hmmmm – they are indeed being relocated to be protected from the evil to come. Thanks for sharing. It definitely gives perspective and makes it easier to thank God for allowing it.

      Thanks for your comment – Amen and Amen!

      Our Diamond, keep shining! xoxo

  14. I know my Redeemer lives! That came to heart for me at a time of loss and I have been encouraged by it (not sure why cos I won’t have personally chosen it) and I have stuck with it.
    My prayers go to Ofe’s immediate and extended family. Also to her friends and colleagues.

  15. This is the first post of yours I’ve read, and so many emotions bubbled up to the surface for me. Thank you for sharing the ups and the downs and taking us on this ride.
    I lost my dear father 20 years ago, and in a strange way, I miss him even more now, than I did when I was 10. (I also did absolutely nothing for my 30th. I blew out 30 candles and left very strict instructions with my friends and family that I wanted nothing. I digress). I wish I got to see him one last time (story for another day). I have also lost many many friends. Not to death, but to life. And you have just reminded me about what’s most important: telling and showing loved ones that they matter. I have no (additional) song nor scripture to share at this time, but if you need a total stranger to talk to, please reach out. I found that for me, talking to people who did not know my dad helped. Plus if you are in Boston, let us meet, and take photos. #fangirlcrushing. Please have a face-cap in tow for me. xx.

    1. Aww Olive, thank you so much for your comment and your refreshing honesty.

      I will definitely come to Boston with a face-cap for you (what color do you want?) in exchange for you being my tour guide and selfie-partner 🙂

      Deal?

      p.s – I know what you mean by losing friends to life. Sigh! Let’s just make sure we love the hell out of the ones we have left!

  16. I started reading this the day u put this up but got distracted by one of d twins and all of a sudden this evening I remembered that I hadn’t finished reading your tribute to Ofe so came looking for it.
    Even though I didn’t know her I could not stop the tears hard as I tried. Even JT was like ‘mum, why are you sad?’ And I cried even more.

    She has run her race and finished well. Please Take comfort in the HolySpirit. RIP Angel Ofe!

    Belated 30th birthday wishes dear Kemi….

    1. Senior Tinu!!!

      So lovely to read from you (I am always extra excited when my friends from before-before drop comments on the blog, whooooop!!!) Thanks for reading and celebrating Ofe with me 🙂

      Awww – give JT and the twins a hug for me. I am tapping into your twins anointing o!

      Thanks for the belated birthday wishes too. kisses!

  17. Kemi dear,

    This is really inspirational and one to hold onto. May the soul of the departed rest in perfect peace. Relationships are very key. A point I’ll hold on to. Congratulations on your 30th birthday also. Keep soaring high and I pray God keeps and guides you in all you do.

    1. Amen! Thanks for the prayers and kind words Omolade! God bless you too!

      And YES to relationships being key. Let’s remember to nurture and cherish them.

      Cheers!

  18. Mama, this really got to me I won’t lie…it had me picking up the phone and reaching out to those I haven’t been in touch with. May the Lord comfort all those she left behind and grant us wisdom to ‘live’ and not merely exist. Love you mama 💞

    1. Amen to living and not just existing! Ameen!!!

      I like that you actually took action and reached out to folks – keep it up!

      Lurrrr you too girl!

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